I regret nothing

4 notes

I feel obliged to note that while doing that tag meme I came across this mass and I can’t help but wonder what I was on at the time of writing other than presumably too little sleep and too much caffeine:

this is what happens when you let eldritch abomination jack build a universe goddamnit jack can’t trust you with anything meanwhile pitch and sandy admire the fact that they split a giant cock across four universes the fourth universe recognises the ballsack it haunts astronomers’ dreams why balls why just balls where did the shaft go

Filed under i'm feeling a little better at the moment largely due to excessive sleeping and two days of not having to make dinner i may actually get some housework done tomorrow at this rate

6,497 notes

Wanted: Employee for Entry Level Position


The successful candidate will have a minimum of five years experience in a similar role, own their own transport, be related to someone I know and like, be proficient in Excel and kangaroo wrangling, have gold-plated nipples, and be willing to work full hours at minimum wage.

(via theotherwesley)

Filed under weekends non-negotiable but don't worry if you need experience you can go for an unpaid apprenticeship :D only if you're under 25 though otherwise you're double-boned